


Drove Through the Ghosts to Get Here

by RottenAdel



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, M/M, Not Beta Read, POV Third Person Limited, Spoilers, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 03:09:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4730627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RottenAdel/pseuds/RottenAdel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things had been going too well, Alvin soon found out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drove Through the Ghosts to Get Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amavi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amavi/gifts).



> This was a drabble prompt from [Amavi](http://strawberry-healer.tumblr.com). "Write your muse dying in my muse's arms". Well, I took it a step further. That, and I really wanted to delve into what goes on in a divergence catalyst's mind.

Things had been going great. Business was booming; they had just opened their third brick and mortar location, this one in the heart of Trigleph’s square. Yurgen and Isla were expecting their first child, and Alvin had been playing with the idea of settling down himself. He and Jude had been together for years already, and his mother would ask him about it whenever she visited. She was so vibrant these days, constantly flitting about the kitchen and living room, making meals to share with friends and neighbors, sewing quilts and clothes for grandbabies she didn’t actually have (“Isla’s little one counts!” she’d insist).

She had even been seeing someone; a merchant from Xian Du that took her on nice dinners and walks along the riverfront. Alvin had already put the fear of the Spirits into him, which earned him a stern reprimand from his mother. She may have lived the life of a lady, but she wasn’t afraid to drag her grown son away by his ear.

After all the hell he had gone through, he finally felt like things were going right again. And for that, Alvin was grateful.

Until that spot appeared.

The ache came on slowly, then all at once. Like a strained muscle, he felt his shoulder tightening with each passing day. He hadn’t done anything to his knowledge to hurt himself, and Jude hadn’t found anything out of the ordinary… at first.

It started as a dark bruise he noticed after getting out of the shower one morning. Jude wasn’t entirely certain of the cause, and implored him to seek treatment. What if it was something serious? But Alvin hadn’t heeded his words, and had continued on with little regard for the strange black mass steadily stretching across his arm.

He continued working, even picking up Yurgen’s end of things so he could spend more time with his wife. Jude helped where he could, though Alvin continued to turn him down. He had finally figured out how Spyrites could be stabilized; he had his own tasks to work on. But they still made time for each other, and some weekends he’d take Jude to Xian Du with him to visit his mother alongside him.

Then, things started to change. He felt… Strange. The black mark snaked down his arm like inky tendrils on his skin. It had become painful, sometimes to the point that he’d be forced to leave the room and wait it out, just so Jude wouldn’t see how much it was hurting him. He didn’t want to worry Jude.

The doctors at Helioborg were bewildered. They couldn’t explain the painful lesion any better than Jude could. They gave him creams and told him to take pills for the pain. Nothing else could be done for it.

As the mark spread, he felt more and more uneasy. A feeling of anxiety and dread filled his chest whenever the mark would begin to pulse, as if telling the unfortunate end of his life just as things were beginning to turn around. It would figure, considering the things he had done to get where he was now.

He began avoiding his mother, then Yurgen, then Jude. A faint sense of paranoia took him, making him feel like things weren’t right somehow. Like all of this, the success and happiness he felt just wasn’t right and he couldn’t explain why. Was this what it felt like go insane? Was he going to die?

In spite of the voice in the back of his head telling him not to, he traveled to Xian Du. If there was anyone he should confide in, it was his mother. He wanted to talk to Jude about it but… No, it was better to speak to her first. She had fought a illness, lost her mind, and come back mostly unscathed. She could help, right?

What he didn’t expect was to see Jude there, standing outside his house with Elize, Rowen, and… Someone else. A man he didn’t recognize. He stood close to Jude, too close, and the irrational part of his mind that had been rearing it’s ugly head in his mania made him want to tell the guy to back away from _his_  boyfriend.

But Jude saw him first, and looked surprised, as if he didn’t expect Alvin to be in Xian Du. But hadn’t he told him he’d be here?

They spoke only briefly, and Alvin was sure he had only half heard what he was saying. He felt fixated on the boy’s mannerisms, his speech. It wasn’t…  _wrong_  per se, but it wasn’t  _right_ either. And when Alvin leaned down to give him a kiss in greeting, Jude flinched away, bewildered, eyes darting to his companions. But why? They all knew. Just the other day, Elize asked if she could be their flower girl at the wedding she and Leia had apparently already been plotting for him and Jude.

Alvin felt irrationally angry at this, but said nothing, only dropped his hands and headed towards the store location he had claimed to be checking on.

They followed him, and Jude asked him about the mark on his neck. Had it spread that far? Alvin had to think quick or else Jude would start fretting. He could lie about it outright, pretend he hadn’t noticed, but instead he came clean. “It’s been spreading more. It doesn’t hurt as much though…” It was a lie. He was good at lying, but Jude always saw through him.

He followed, asking how long the mark had been there, how he had gotten it, why it was spreading… All things Jude should have known. Hadn’t he been the one to point it out in the first place, pressed his lips against the bare skin of his shoulder and tell him to go see the researchers at Helioborg?

But he persisted. Jude followed him into the storehouse, continued to ask him questions. He was getting irritated, far more than he had ever been with Jude. And that man… Why was he with Jude? Why was he sticking so close?

Jude grabbed his shoulder, a shock of pain coursing through his body from the mere touch. Alvin whirled and grabbed him, yelling, shaking him, coming completely unhinged. What was wrong with him? He never got like this, not with Jude…

The next few minutes was a blur. He never imagined he’d have his pistol trained on Jude again, but in a blind fury he was not only aiming, but shooting round after round in his direction. If he was in his right mind, he would have been grateful for the boy’s superior dodging skills, but as he was, it only served to infuriate him further.

That guy, Ludger, he heard Jude call him, he was attacking him too. Defending Jude and Elize, backing up Rowen, keeping him on his toes. He thought he heard an apology from him, an explanation of how it had to be this way, that he had to go.  _It was the only way._  The only way for what? He didn’t understand. But the mark on his back was hurting so badly that he thought he was going mad from pain. This wasn’t like Jude. But he wasn’t like himself, either. What was happening?  _Why_  was it happening?

Alvin was reminded of his own weakness as he felt the lead fill his chest just before he fell. He heard Jude calling for him, a forlorn cry. Alvin’s whole body felt heavy, his limbs cold, the aching mark inching across his face, making his muscles feel tight. His body was lifted carefully and his head fell against a familiar warm chest. Jude, Jude was there, Jude was holding him and… Crying…?

Jude whispered endless apologies, trying to explain his actions, as if knowing the reasons for his demise would bring him some peace. In a way, it did, but only minutely. Alvin didn’t believe in Fractured Dimensions, didn’t understand why he was the only person holding it together, but he had to laugh at the irony. Find the most different thing in that universe, and destroy it. Alvin had to wonder what kind of sad existence his other self lead if him being happy, successful, and overall content with his life was the basis for a catalyst to split the dimensions.

He didn’t want to ask about how miserable he must have been, but he needed to know something. Something important.

“Hey… That other me… The me from your world…” His words were thin, breath mottled by the blood rapidly filling his lungs. “Did… Did he tell you how he feels…?”

The answer was too far away to hear, but Alvin hoped it was a good one. He smiled regardless, nestling his face against Jude’s lab coat as he felt a sharp pain penetrate his shoulder, ripping something free from his body. And then, nothing, save for the cold embrace of sleep.


End file.
